I had a dream about you this morning. You were probably about 35 years old. You were laughing and being silly with all of us, your children. We were all adults as we are. You were happy. We were at a fair. We were happy to be with you. I wanted it to go on. Then the alarm went off.
I was content for a split second because Ive missed you so much and was so happy we were all together again, and then reality came to light. It was just a dream. We weren't all together again. You really aren't here.
Mickey was telling me it was time to get up, but I didn't want to move. I wanted to try to go back to sleep and hopefully be lucky enough to get right back to where I left off in the dream. It was then that I also realized today's date. July 28th. 20 years ago today you died. I started to cry.
I don't think it was pure coincidence that this dream happened this morning.
Let me tell you how I know.
My dad there in the white shirt.
My died was killed on his job back on July 28th 1990. He went to work that very hot day in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. My dad worked pipeline construction all his life. It was just what he did. He was working the skid truck and was holding onto a skid to put under the pipe when the driver of the truck pulled the truck forward instead of pulling up the pipe for my dad to fit the skid under. This caused the huge pipe to fall which hit the skid my dad was holding and the skid struck him under his jaw. It was a freak accident. My dad died instantly. 52 years old.
I stayed with my grandmother for a couple of nights afterward to help with arrangements and so she didn't have to be alone. The night before the funeral I had a *dream*. I was at my grandmothers and walked outside because something just didn't seem right. As I stood out in the yard I saw my dad walking up the front steps and come up the sidewalk. I remember being very surprised to see him. I said, "I thought you were hurt"?
"No, Spider, Im ok."
I looked at him and saw that he was. He gave me his crooked grin, that was his distinct trade mark, and I knew then and there that he truly was ok and I could stop worrying.
When I woke up I knew that he had wanted me to know that. I don't think it was just a dream. Just as I know that this morning was not just a dream.
He misses me too.
I think sometimes he just wants to know that I'm ok too.
And I am.
Love you always and forever,