Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I miss you today and everyday

I had a dream about you this morning. You were probably about 35 years old. You were laughing and being silly with all of us, your children. We were all adults as we are. You were happy. We were at a fair. We were happy to be with you. I wanted it to go on. Then the alarm went off.

I was content for a split second because Ive missed you so much and was so happy we were all together again, and then reality came to light. It was just a dream. We weren't all together again. You really aren't here.

Mickey was telling me it was time to get up, but I didn't want to move. I wanted to try to go back to sleep and hopefully be lucky enough to get right back to where I left off in the dream. It was then that I also realized today's date. July 28th. 20 years ago today you died. I started to cry.

I don't think it was pure coincidence that this dream happened this morning.

Let me tell you how I know.

My dad there in the white shirt.

My died was killed on his job back on July 28th 1990. He went to work that very hot day in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. My dad worked pipeline construction all his life. It was just what he did. He was working the skid truck and was holding onto a skid to put under the pipe when the driver of the truck pulled the truck forward instead of pulling up the pipe for my dad to fit the skid under. This caused the huge pipe to fall which hit the skid my dad was holding and the skid struck him under his jaw. It was a freak accident. My dad died instantly. 52 years old.

I stayed with my grandmother for a couple of nights afterward to help with arrangements and so she didn't have to be alone. The night before the funeral I had a *dream*. I was at my grandmothers and walked outside because something just didn't seem right. As I stood out in the yard I saw my dad walking up the front steps and come up the sidewalk. I remember being very surprised to see him. I said, "I thought you were hurt"?

"No, Spider, Im ok."

I looked at him and saw that he was. He gave me his crooked grin, that was his distinct trade mark, and I knew then and there that he truly was ok and I could stop worrying.

When I woke up I knew that he had wanted me to know that. I don't think it was just a dream. Just as I know that this morning was not just a dream.

He misses me too.

I think sometimes he just wants to know that I'm ok too.

And I am.

Love you always and forever,




  1. Oh sob...

    Wow, that hit home. I haven't yet had a dream about my dad. I wish I would. I would just love to see him one more time. I am glad you have had that chance.

  2. So sorry your Dad had such a tragic accident.
    I know it was a long time ago, but it doesn't stop the pain of missing someone.
    I understand the empty part of you that misses someone. My parents both died in 2006, just four weeks apart. I miss them both. Everyday of my life.
    Such a special dream. It is such a good but sad feeling it leaves you with.
    Someday you'll have to read the rainbow story at my place if you haven't yet. Between God and Dad, they let me know everything will be okay.

  3. Melinda, I was away from home yesterday and just now read your post. It brought tears to my eyes but also a thankful heart - thankful that you had both dreams. Blessings to you today.

  4. Oh Melinda that was so nice it made me cry, I know how you feel.

  5. I think those who have left us come back to visit us the only way they can - in dreams. I'm sure it was him and I'm sure he misses you too. Love knows no boundaries. Take care of yourself.